I'm laying in your front yard are you home
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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