Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
