True but thats because hes a fetus.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Randomize
