I'm lost and stupid without you.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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