Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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