we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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