dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He did a backflip because drugs
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
