I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize