just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
