...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
