Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
