Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
