going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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