it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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