weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
