Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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