y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
