I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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