she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
