Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
