Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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