You're my little dorito
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I will pee on everything he values.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
