do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
