I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
