its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize