Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i drank out of a bidet.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize