Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
