I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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