Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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