Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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