he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize