i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
