Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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