Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
God, I missed his penis.
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