Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
