check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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