those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
And then he peed in my hair
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