I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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