their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
