Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
