Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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