i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize