i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
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