The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
