Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize