What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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