going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
