The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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