I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
