Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the day after is always just damage control
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
