I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
