I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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