Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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