Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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