I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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