Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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