I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
