We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
