grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
