Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
