Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
