fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
