im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
did i walk over a car last night?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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